I Stay Away


Tonight I won an award. Everyone was screaming at me and waving. Trying to connect. I should maybe swear and cuss too. I try to make eye contact with them because my agent tells me if I do it will mean more records sold. I'm wearing practically nothing tonight. That's what we do nowadays. Music is secondary. It's business. Deal with it. All the talent in the world will get me nowhere unless I get naked. It's the reality of reality. I say I'm nervous but I'm just antsy to get out of here because I really don't want to talk to any of you. I've got my own friends. Sort of. They follow me around and take care of me and kiss my ass. Everyone say hey!! Everyone say ho!! And they all do. And then I come to realize again. Again. Again. Works all the time. Say hey! Say ho! Scream! And they do. It's not that hard to hypnotize people. It's easier when you have a catchy tune and a great music video director. And good lyrics like: I miss you. Hit single! I love you. Hit single! I hate you. Hit single! I am a loser. Hit single! Let's go dancing.