No One Knows


Things that come out of my mind, right this minute:
I miss buying my friends a round of drinks. I told your mamma I'd get you home, but I didn't say I had no car. I saw a lion he was standing alone, with a tadpole in a jar. And why get upset when I don't wave hello to you - why do you have tinted windows? You forget that I can't see you, and it's your choice. I wanted to apologize, but I saw there was no need. I'm not calling because I know that it will be inevitable that we will part ways in the future. Donkey baseball. I saw it as a child. They had a truck with a megaphone on it's roof come by the house advertising it. What were they smoking when they did that? Is a cloned human being really a human being? Doctor says that guy was in good health a year ago, I'm scared again. Evacuate. And exhale.

Ok. I'm back. I scared you.

I wondered today about what was in Seattle's water years ago that spawned musicians that are still relevant today. I heard many Seattle musicians from the grunge era and their new bands playing on my way home from a meeting on the Hwy. 401. On the top 5 countdown no less. Still relevant all these years later after choking on his own vomit after taking lots of intoxicants is one of Seattle's best and he would be celebrating his birthday today: Jimi Hendrix. Listening to him play All Along the Watchtower or Purple Haze or Hey, Joe is always a treat. Ahead of his time, struck a chord, one small step for mankind.

Don't open the gifts if you know you don't deserve them: What a foolish thing you've done!

Lone Palm


Up here in Ontario, Canada - we are strongly recommended by our government(!?!) to get free 'flu shots' to avoid getting and spreading that dreaded winter sickness. I would love to find out what drug company is behind this. I've never had a flu shot and I've been fine since this has been implemented. The flu shots aren't even guaranteed to prevent people from getting sick. I find it very odd that the government is going out of their way to help us. It's odd. Maybe it's for a good cause and I'm being conspiratorial. I just want the company providing the flu shots and their stock ticker symbol. You can all donate your disposable income to me and I'll invest in the company and try to make us millions of dollars. No guarantees though. I have a hunch on this one. Stick a needle in me if I'm wrong.

Speaking of gambles, check out the booming economy in Silicone Valley. I wonder how much the industry makes in a year.

Speaking of sex, I laughed at this study by Durex, click here if you want to see it. It says Canadians have sex on average 150 times a year. Like the flu deal, the skeptic in me had to wonder about that statistic. That's healthy, I just don't believe in polls and surveys, especially when they are conducted by a company of interest. I looked at the fine print and found that they surveyed only 50,000 people worldwide. Out of billions. Interesting sample group this must have been. Was this survey only for couples? I am told that the frequency decreases after marriage. Hey Canada, I'm sorry, but if they called on me, our average number would have went down.

Silicone Valley, here I come. It's not for the money or the sex, it's for my country.

Side note: if anyone knows of a free website that hosts .jpg files, let me know. My current host is closing shop and the alternative site it provided doesn't transfer pictures properly.

Let's play.

I'm Only Sleeping


Irvine Welsh, who wrote Trainspotting, is featured by The Onion A.V. Club in an article there. He touches upon our modern culture and discusses his new novel. Click here to see it.

The Good Doctor discusses the "kicking fool out of Canada", faith, and jails in this week's installment of Hey, Rube.

On a related note, are they letting anyone of the streets join the college and universities in the US these days? After the NCAA football games this weekend, there were brawls and acts of violence everywhere. See: Virginia, Ohio,, etc. I know they don't represent and act for all the students at their respective scholastic institutions, but come on: I suggest you fight and flip cars over for a better reason if you're going to go that far, you hooligans. They'll learn though, that's what they are there for, right?

The kids will get angrier installment:

Finances of U.S. States Called Worst Since World War II
WASHINGTON, Nov. 25 Plunging tax collections and soaring medical costs have created the worst fiscal problems for states since World War II, the National Governors Association said today.... Courtesy of NY Times.

The kids will get drunk installment:

If I remember reading this correctly earlier, the Bush twins are 21 today. The minimum required legal age to drink alcohol in the States. One of the sisters has already warmed up and practiced for the occasion if I'm not mistaken either. Now, there's a party I would love to be at! I'd even flip a car over to get on the invite list. Sign me up!

godspeed y'all.

this one goes out to the one i left behind

This is an amusing piece of work about what a Canadian official is alleged to have called the US leader, Giorgio. The politicians are like kids. Name calling and taunting each other to get their points across. Very good points in the article though, check it out.

I've had a coffee or few at the location of this incident here, which was reported all the way to this San Diego website. Strange things happen and strange people come from this smalltown. There's even a song about it by some Stompin Tom guy.

There is a saying that goes something like this, "You make your own good luck." That might be true. But I have to say, sometimes you have bad luck, and there is nothing you can do about it. I curse the bad curses.

This is a piece called 92302:

I am going to get a fishing pole.
I am going to hook a fish on the hook (instead of a worm).
I am going to cast the line onto the highway.
A wild cat should fall for the bait and go and get the fish.
A vehicle might run over the cat as it goes for the hook.
Forget it all, forget everything i wrote - I'm all talk. I don't mean no
harm to animals. I just eat them.

The Tourist

I've always wanted to meet the people that have made up the jokes we hear in our lifetimes. This is a joke I made up many years ago for a question I used to get quite often then, and still do now:

Q: What did you take at school?

A: Drugs.

Thank you.

What a shame about that oil tanker incident near Spain. I'm telling you, oil is causing huge problems environmentally, and it is also starting wars. It also starts our vehicles, I know. Let's face it though, solar power works, so does electricity. Common sense is not common anymore. Common sense is now common dollars and cents.

I don't know.

People always told him, to be careful what to do: don't go around breaking young girls hearts. Or babies in half. I swear, if I ever feel like I'm completely insane, all I have to do is look at this footage of the artist of the millenium dangling his baby from the window and I know that I'm ok. What the hell is he, I mean, it, thinking?

The first music tape I ever bought was MJ's "Thriller". Beat it, please! I sold it for a penny within a year of buying it. I was a smart kid.

Make someone smile today.

1/2 Full

I hold no sentiment for this day or age. However, I will give you a present. I will tell you The Meaning of Life. This is deep. You can skip to the next paragraph if you wish to avoid this now. Are you still here? Ok. The meaning of life is: death. Everything we do revolves around it. We fight against it. We fear it. We hide from it with plastic and silicon. We intoxicate ourselves to see it at other angles. We run on stationary machines to prolong the inevitable. We fear it from happening to others around us. We see it happen to others. It's all unfortunate. However, once you accept that death is a part of life, you will realize that life is a breeze and find that life has more than simply one meaning. Merrily, merrily, merrily. Enjoy it. Enjoy those meteors in the sky tonight if you get a chance.

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Here are 3 pieces of bullshit I found in this weekend's news. Millions of dollars going to pot. Millions of dollars lost royally. Millions of dollars scrapped. Why do we tolerate this? These things disturb me, and here they are:

Ottawa pot crop a bust
The first batch of marijuana grown by a private company under a Health Canada contract was useless for clinical trials and had to be burned, Health Minister Anne McLellan said yesterday.

Prairie Plant Systems Inc. received a five-year, $5 million federal contract to grow marijuana in an abandoned copper mine in Flin Flon, Man., but McLellan said their first batch was not uniform.

Royal visit budget balloons
Last month's royal visit to Canada cost almost $2 million more than federal organizers expected when they budgeted for the Queen's 12-day Golden Jubilee tour.

An initial estimate of $4.85 million for the Oct. 4 to 15 visit by the Queen and Prince Philip ballooned by about 40 per cent to $6.7 million, the Ottawa Citizen reported yesterday.

Ottawa dumping $16M worth of computers
In a bid to streamline its computer system, Human Resources Development Canada is poised to dump almost $16 million worth of machines it acquired only two years ago, it was reported yesterday.

The $40-million plan was announced just as a series of internal reports warned the federal department it had a massive oversupply of network computers.

Why do people ask "what's the worse thing that can happen" as opposed to "what's the best I could do" these days? Or has it always been like this?

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Ok. Let's take it a bit easy now. The following links are more amusing to me. They lighten up this posting like the sky will be lit tonight. See if you can solve the puzzles on these pages. Answers are on the pages. Puzzle ONE and puzzle TWO. Enjoy!

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See you again, sooner or later.

Lust for Life

Good weekend. It's time for the picks of the week.

Random Frost NFL Picks, Season Record (4-3-1), Last Week (2-1-1)
Picks of the Week:
Buffalo over Kansas City
New Orleans beats Atlanta
Cinci beats Cleveland
Oakland wins the rematch vs. New England


Full Circle:

His breath displayed how cold the air was. It was a near blizzard and he decided that he would walk all the way to her place.

By the time he arrived there, he was completely wet from the snow. There was a need for him to get warm quickly and change his clothes. He really needed her to help him get a warm night’s sleep and to help him change his life back to what it was and could be.

He found that her front door was locked.

He found the spare key in the same spot on the windowsill above the mailbox and he opened the door quietly. Once inside, he saw a large sized pair of boots there. Looking at them closely, he saw that they were a man’s boots. His heart dropped. For someone who was shivering from the cold weather, he found himself warming up inside, but not in a comforting way.

He heard a loud voice ask who was there. He heard her voice follow it and then he heard footsteps and rustling coming from her bedroom.

He locked up calmly and quickly and turned around to go home. He grabbed one of the man’s boots before he locked up. He placed the key back to where he found it. Walking backwards, he had dragged the boot with his right heel in the snow to cover up his footprints on the path to her house. He smiled as he dragged the boot across some yellow snow. The snow was likely marked from her dog. Such a nice dog. He smiled again and thought about how this was once his territory too.

Once he made it to the sidewalk where his footprints were mixed up with many other different footprints, he threw the boot back towards her house.

He looked up and saw her bedroom light come on. He quickly turned away, cloaking his face with his jacket and made his way down the sidewalk. A minute later, there was shouting heard from a distance. He assumed it was the man.

The shouting stopped and yet the snow kept coming on stronger. The cold wind made the walk back much longer as it was blowing against him this time. As he walked home, he couldn’t tell if his face was wet from tears or the wet snow.

He arrived back home shortly thereafter, exhausted. Full circle.

He was wet. He was cold.

Nothing had changed at all.

With A Little Help From My Friends

Pete Townshend: Rock Wizard Professor, Playmaker, Survivor, and of the Legendary Band 'The Who' - did a book review of Kurt Cobain's journals and it can be found at this link here. Link and review courtesy of The Guardian/Observer.


3 Steps: i) Overcome Adversity, ii) Become The Champ, iii) Get The Girl

Little known facts about me:

- I have had a gun* pulled on me three times, by three different people**
- I used to go to the arcade quite a bit as a youngster in my hometown***
- I used to be in a Duran Duran cover/airband****

Footnotes:
* indicates that I am not including paintball or pellet guns.
** indicates none of the three gun wielders were related to me.
*** indicates none of the incidents with guns occurred in the arcade vicinity.
**** indicates my concern of why no one pulled a gun on us while we were doing a remake of 'The Reflex'.

Rest in Peace, Ruth-Anne.

Ten Years Gone


Public service announcements by [name]:

If Reality TV was 'real', I would have to assume an average show depicting many of the average citizens of North America would present itself like this: You wake up. You drink coffee. You watch TV or read the newspaper. Talk about the weather. You go to work. You log onto a computer and look at it all day. You talk on the phone. You go home and watch TV. You sleep - sometimes it's easier to sleep than on other nights. Repeat 4 more times weekly. Then on the weekend you go to the supermarket. You might let loose and spend your hard earned money by going to see a movie, which of course is on another big screen. Now, if we could only have camera's following around this excitement. I would watch that show! My public service announcement is simply this: fill in the blanks.

Speaking of media, I am looking for a radio station or internet radio station that will be broadcasting the new Pearl Jam album which is due out next week. I've heard five of the new tracks and I'm looking very forward to picking it up. Speaking of radio, I'll never forget the first time I heard Revolution 9 by The Beatles. I was around 16 years old and in a parking lot listening to the car radio as I was picking up my Mom from the grocery store. I thought my head was playing tricks on me. I heard weird noises and someone repeating "number nine" through the speakers and I thought someone was playing a prank on me. I looked around the parking lot and saw nothing to be suspicious of and then I thought it was just the record skipping. Then it got even more inaudible. I don't even consider it a song, but it definitely was a work of science, not art. Listen to it and you'll know what I mean. I didn't know what was going on. It was quite mesmerizing and messed with my head. In my lifetime, I've karaoked three times perhaps, and I don't care to do that sort of thing, but if that song is ever on a playlist, I will gladly sing it.

You say I need a doctor? Well, you know, it's getting more difficult to find one up here: "Fifteen per cent of Canadians — 4.5 million people — had trouble finding a family doctor in 2001, a study released Thursday by the College of Family Physicians of Canada (CFPC) says."

Fill in your blanks. Vaya con Dios.

Find the River


We are drones and go to work. They are worker bees.
We make money. They make honey.
We work in big skyscrapers. They work in big honeycombs.
We can be vicious to one another. They don't sting each other as much as they sting us.
Leave me be. Leave me, bee.

Here are some great short stories. I really enjoyed them. They are funny, depressing, moralistic, and sick all at once. New Job, Explosions and None of the Above are courtesy of Stanley Donwood's website Slowly Downward. Thanks Stanley.

I need a new book to read. Any suggestions are appreciated.

And finally, REASON # 986 that I don't have cable/digital/whatnot television is this:

What's your point, Larry? Holding up the leg of Sir Paul McCartney's wife. Is that supposed to be funny? I would resubscribe to cable/digital/whatnot right away if she kicked him in the nuts with her other leg. Now that's entertainment!

Speaking of bee, be, bee, be, bee's: That's all folks!

Halah, Blue Light, Roseblood

Here's a story I found in my back pocket.

Good Work, Soldier!

The right to VOTE is what it boils down to! Our platoon was stationed in a remote part of the opposing nation. We didn't see any of the war though. We were stationed there in the event the fighting spread to the border. I was the Sergeant and commanding officer of the squadron.

To keep us busy, I had the infantry watch old videos and movies, send letters to their loved ones, and arrange for a big party for when we were to come home. They almost called us one time to transport food to another platoon that was actually in battle!

One day we finally got the call to go home and arrived to a huge party at the base. We came home to our wives, significant others, friends, and whatnot. We had trained all our lives to shoot and kill, but we didn't have to pull a trigger once over there. Some soldier said he was going to take his wife to Vegas. We all cheered. Everyone cheered for us too at the base! Good thing we didn't kill anyone. Then again, wasn't that what we were trained to do for our whole adult lives? They cheered again! Then we wondered what to do with our guns and our skills at home. Then we wondered why we crossed oceans to fight a war to save democracy, yet the fact remained that some of us were too lazy to even get off the damn couch to cast a vote during the elections. Good thing they will send us over there to fight and we will volunteer to die for our country to have that freedom to vote. The right to VOTE is what it boils down to?

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Neighbours (er, I meant neighbors), I'm counting on you this week from up here above the 49th. Your votes, if counted correctly, could have a major impact on the world as we know it.